To Live is to Love
by Nuttyginger
Summary: After Edward leaves her in the forest, Bella is determined to follow Alices vision, after all the Cullens aren't the only vampires on the planet. Not your usual 'Bella Meets the Cullens Again' story-more Bellas story and path to hide her past from herself
1. Chapter 1

**Set after Edward leaves Bella in "New Moon'. After Edward leaves her in the forest, Bella is still determined to fulfil Alice's vision, after all the Cullens aren't the only vampires on the planet. What happens when she meets another vampire in the hospital where she works? Why did she fight so hard to forget the past?**

**Not a usual 'Bella meets the Cullens again' story – concentrates more on Bellas story and her journey to acceptance.****To Live is To Love**

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**Chapter 1: The Beginning of the End - Prelude**

_"If… that's what you want."_

_"I would like to ask one favour, though, if that's not too much,"_

_"Anything,"_

_"Don't do anything reckless or stupid. Do you understand what I'm saying? I'm thinking of Charlie, of course. He needs you. Take care of yourself — for him."_

_"I will."_

_"And I'll make you a promise in return," he said. "I promise that this will be the last time you'll see me. I won't come back. I won't put you through anything like this again. You can go on with your life without any more interference from me. It will be as if I'd never existed."_

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She didn't know how much time had passed before Sam Uley pulled her off the forest floor, or how long it took to get her back to Charlies. She was numb from the neck down, barely feeling her shaking limbs or chattering teeth. While in the forest, her mind running a hundred miles a second, Bella had made a decision; she would end this pain once and for all. As she recovered from her hypothermia and surrounded by Charlies silent shadow as he kept an almost constant watch on her, she formed a plan and as soon as she was well enough she would execute it.

xxxx

A month had passed and Bella had recovered. Charlie had been reluctant to let her leave the house at first but she convinced him that getting back to school and being with her friends was what she needed to get over Edward. Her father, glad to see her concentrate anything but a certain Cullen, agreed whole-heartedly. Today, though, she wasn't going to school. In fact she would never be going back to school again. Bella patted the inside of her parka, checking the letters she had written was still secure in the inside pocket. She climbed into her truck and started the drive up the 1-01 North before turning onto the 1-10. The truck shuddered to a stop and she pulled out one of the letters and left it lying on the dashboard. There was no other traffic on the road as she climbed down from the truck, leaving the keys in the ignition. It wouldn't be fair to Charlie to leave him with the tow costs when they found her truck. The grass crumpled under her foot and slipped a little in the dewy morning. Everything in Forks was always wet, the grass no different. She remembered the path well but she wasn't going all the way to the end. Instead she wandered about a mile into the heavy forest and sat down on a tree. Only the moving sun let her know how long she had been sitting on the dead tree but she figured that she wouldn't find what she was looking for until at least twilight.

A snapping twig woke her from her doze. Her eyes squinted in the darkness as she realised that the sun had almost set. She searched the direction where the sound had come from, her eyes slowly adjusting to the darkness. The bright red of her hair was the first thing to come into focus, followed by her pale face and slim body. Bella's heart quickened in a natural reaction to expectation though she hoped the woman in front of her might mistake it for fear.

"Victoria!" Bella hoped her voice sounded surprised.

"Do you know how long i have waited to see you again? How long i have planned my revenge?" Victoria took a quick step forward, so quick Bella didn't see her until Victoria was less than 2 foot from her. "Where are your vampire protectors?" She spat.

"Edward and i are finished." Victorias face fell. "He left because...because i wanted him to turn me." Bella lied her very carefully thought out lie.

"He wouldn't turn you?" She cocked her head to the side in confusion. "Why?"

Bella smiled. The most fundamental of human emotions would be this vampires undoing; Curiosity. "Edward left me because he said to have me as a vampire would hurt more than to know i was dead."

Victoria smiled a half smile, thought written across her face. "And here i came to find you and kill you. A mate for a mate." Anguish was plain in her voice. "I want him to hurt like he hurt me. To kill him would only cause you pain for a while. He would feel the pain of losing you for an eternity." She moved behind Bella in lightning speed. "To turn you would hurt him more."

Bella never stood a chance to move before Victoria bit into her neck. The pain as her diamond sharp teeth cut through her skin was excruciating. She could feel the vague sensation as Victoria continuing to suck her blood as the venom coursed through her veins. Bella felt herself being roughly shoved to ground before the burning began.

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Bella was vaguely aware of sounds around her but she could only see complete blackness. The burning sensation came back, only this time it was different. It centred around her throat and felt like she had been a desert for day, gagging for water, liquid, anything to soothe the pain. It was then she felt it. Her heart sped up, hammering as if she was having a heart attack. It was too fast, she thought, any moment now it would burst out of her chest. It was beating like it would never beat again. As quickly as it started, it stopped dead. No more beats, no more hammering. The blackness started to pale and light burst through her eye lids. Bella sprung upright. The light assaulted her brain causing her to clamp her eyes shut again. The burning in her throat intensified like someone had burrowed a hot poker through her jugular.

"At last, you're awake. I didn't realise that it would take so long."

Bella opened her eyes to find a pale face with a fiery red frame staring at her. Her eyes stared back in wonder. Bella could see every strand of hair, every vain below the marble-like skin of the woman. She whipped her head to the left. She could hear a rustling like water running into a tank and bird calls so clear that she imagined them to be right beside her ear.

"What...who...where."

"Slow down there newborn. Do you not remember?" Bella shook her head. "I found you in the woods, bit you?" Bella continued to look confused, the thirst not helping her concentration. "You're a vampire. Come on, you need to feed."

Victoria pulled Bella to her feet and started to drag her towards the door. Bella put her feet down, bringing an unexpectant Victoria to a stop. "Feed on what?"

Victoria stared at her. "Humans of course. What else."

Bella was dragged out of the door and assaulted by a host of scents, it made her recoil. There was a deep earthy tone of the forest peppered with sweeter scents of flowers and ferns. She smelt it before she heard them. Victoria smiled beside her.

"You smell them too. Hikers, a great first meal. Smell the air, find the direction and then follow your instincts."

Bella sniffed the air and set off in a westerly direction. The forest passed by in a blur, every tree crystal in clarity. She could hear Victoria behind her. The forest had quietened to a silent whisper of the wind, almost like it paused to allow her to hear it. Two solid thumping noises accompanied a rustling sound that was much fainter than the last. She paused in her run and Victoria stood beside her.

"It's the heartbeats. The sound of blood running below the surface of the skin. Focus on the sound and follow it. They won't even hear you coming."

Bella did as Victoria instructed and followed the heartbeats. She could make out their shadows ahead of her, laughing and talking, ignorant to what was about to happen to them. She allowed her instincts to take over and went with them. Before she had time to think she had her teeth in the neck of one of the hikers. The blood flowed down her throat like nectar, so sweet and so quenching. She could feel the strength in her muscles as she held the weightless human in her arms. Soon the blood ran dry and she let him drop. Victoria was finishing up beside her. For the moment the thirst was gone and her mind was able to concentrate. She could feel sometime foreign on the inside of the jacket she had woken up in. Her nimble fingers soon had the zip undone and 2 pieces of papers in her hand. They were filled with words and names that seemed to make up a letter.

_Your name is Isabella Swan, chose another name, and you were a human. If you are reading this then you are a vampire and you've finally got your wish. You were born on August 17__th__ 1999 to Charlie and Renee Swan. Renee lives in Phoenix and Charlie lives in Forks, where you were turned. I am telling you this because i have been told that when you become a vampire you remember little of your human memories and there are some things i want you to remember and some things i want you to forget._

The letter went on telling her about her family and some details of her past. That she shouldn't look into what brought her to Forks but to concentrate on what her life had been like in Phoenix. It told her that she should try not to eat humans but try to survive on animals instead. It explained that being a vampire meant she had a demon inside of her and that if she eat animals she wouldn't be the monster it so wanted her to be. A photo of a brown haired girl had been with the letter. She was standing in the sunshine, red highlights subtle in her hair, a smile on her face as she brandished a small cactus in a terracotta pot. She turned back to the letter.

_Don't ask why you wanted to be turned, it isn't worth the pain. Just know that i wanted to end a pain that was killing me and you can now live. _It had been signed _Isabella Swan_. She had written this letter to herself. She had gone looking to be turned into a vampire and she had asked herself never to ask why.

Without realising it she had found herself back at the cabin where Victoria had taken her. She could feel the thirst coming back but for now it was manageable. The letter had asked her to drink animals, not humans. The letter asked her to change her name. The letter asked her to not to ask why she went looking for immortality. She didn't know why, but she was going to start living her life, unlife, new life by the letter, starting with a new name.

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**A/N – My first piece of Fanfiction in 5 years as i have finally found something else apart from 'Angel' that makes me want to write Fanfiction again. Let me know your thoughts. **

**This story is complete so updates will be posted every couple of days.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Forgot to say at the beginning of the story - All original characters (Sophia) are mine but the rest belong to Stephanie Meyer, whom we all bow down to and pay homage**

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**Chapter 2: A World More Changed**

The world had changed in 150 years. Gone were the years of complete human domination. War, financial crisis and natural disasters had changed the world beyond recognition. Cities were no longer over populated, 4 billion people had died and countries had fallen. People were now settled in other areas deemed suitable by the new world government. Vampires, like the humans had suffered too. Having a life that stretched in eternity meant that events and changes had a profound effect on vampires. The changes of the planet had not left the vampire population alone. Their numbers had suffered as the human population decreased and the wars of yester year had flare up again to a global level. Only those who changed with the world survived.

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Annabella Lee had led a full life for a dead person. She had travelled to every continent, taking in every miserable climated country she could. When those ran out, she became a true creature of the night. She refined her hunting skills to the night and the darkness. The darkness, so stereotypical for her kind, had become a second companion to her lonesomeness. Despite her loneliness she found no need to find neither mate nor extendable family. In the first half her new life she had studied in many universities and schools on a range of subjects. Her favourites tended to be in medicine, psychology and art. The human mind was of a constant fascination to her. Her usual hunts of Canada, Eastern Europe and the Arctic Circle were welcome breaks for her. In a jaunt through Italy she had gone in search of the civilised, law protectors of her species. It had been a memorable six years spent studying under one of the most silently egotistical men she had ever met but it has been an experience none the less. Her travels were often interrupted by outbreak of war or disease where she would put her acquired skills to use in a dire need to help the humans.

The immortal curse of her creation was put to the test on an almost constant basis in those first 75 years. Annabella had seen the fragility of humans which made her test the boundaries of her own indestructibility. She had thrown herself down mountains and canyons and jumped from the highest bridges in the world. She had even swan the Atlantic in a bid to tire herself out. Her hunger had become her biggest boundary to push. It had been pushed to the point of insanity and she pushed it still. Gladly she had managed to abstain from the greatest temptation.

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Annabella adjusted her white coat before walking through the ward doors. Her flower shaped stethoscope swung lightly around her long neck. She took a deep breath and revelled in the unique smell of talc, youth and disinfectant. This time in the morning was her favourite. The kids were just waking up and the nurses were starting to bring around breakfast. Kids had always been her weak spot. She had checked on her patients from yesterday's surgery overnight and now she was getting ready to finish her shift and go home to an empty house. Her office was just off the ward, unlike most doctors who preferred their offices near their clinics. As she turned, she noticed a tall figure at the end of the corridor that looked like he was studying her. His scent hit her nose; Vampire. Immediately she was on guard, her only thought was to protect the children in the ward behind her. The figure came closer and she noticed his white coat, similar to hers. An involuntary gasp escaped her lips when she caught his unwavering stare; ochre eyes just like hers. So this one was not after the children.

"Shall we go to your office?" He muttered, still 20 or more feet away from her but she heard him as if he was right next to her. Annabella motioned to her right and he glided in. She closed the door behind him.

"I'm sorry if i troubled you. I had been told there was another vampire in the hospital and i needed to make sure there was no threat."

Annabella took in the doctor/vampire standing before her. He was young looking, no more than early thirties. He did however look younger than her. She could only get away with 26, people paid less attention these days as the worlds uncertainty kept them occupied with more pressing matters. "No danger, as you can see..." she motioned to her eyes. "I am like you and i assure you that blood lust is not a problem."

"Carlisle Cullen." He offered his hand.

"Annabella Lee." She took his hand lightly and shuddered. It had been over a century since she had felt a hand so adult. The only skin she touched was children's, their soft, elastic skin. "How did you know i was here? I rarely venture into other areas of the hospital."

"My daughter saw you. She has the gift of foresight up to a point. She is overly sensitive to non-humans and thought that i should seek you out. Also it had been a while since we have seen any of our own kind."

"Do you live in Burton, Carlisle?"

"Yes, my family and i moved here a couple of days ago. We needed a new permanent residency. Do you also live here?"

"Yes, i have a house just outside the main town's limits. It's far enough out of town that very few people bother me. I've been here for 3 years. You and your wife should come around and we can talk. I haven't really had much contact with vampires in recent years..." She trailed off. Carlisle was staring at her again, studying her in a non-leering way. "Is something wrong?"

He seemed to come back to the room. "No. Sorry, you remind me of someone we used to know but she passed away over a century ago. My apologies. My wife and i would love to come around. My children are off hunting this weekend in Canada."

Annabella scribbled down her address and Carlisle left her in the office. His visit had left her trouble. It had been 25 years since she had met another vampire. A blink of an eye in eternity. Now she had not only found a coven but one that shared her diet. Suddenly things were no longer black and white. Maybe Carlisle Cullen would be able to answer some questions about why he chose the diet he did.

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**OK, would like to know thoughts. My writing has changed since my 'Angel' Fanfiction days but it seems i am still inspired by vampires! Please review and let me know as i have really enjoyed writing this and would hate think that no one has any thoughts on it!**

**Big SHOUT out and cookies to HollyGirl-93 for a most awesome review that had me grinning and clapping my handies for hours!**

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	3. Chapter 3

**Oh wow guys, i am totally floored (which doesn't happen often) by the response in reviews to this story. I'm so glad you all like it. **

**I know the last chapter was a little confusing with the introduction of Annabella Lee but it will all become crystal clear in later chapters as to who she is but you can probably guess. **

**I have always wondered at the relationship that Bella would have Carlisle and Esme so that is why there is a couple of chapters with them as the main characters with Annabella.**

**CORRECTION: A thank you to Norweigian Eyes who pointed out that i had Bellas birthday wrong the letter in the first chapetr. It is in fact September 13, 1987 so take all dates from this line.**

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**Chapter 3: Staying Mum**

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Annabella sat very still on the couch in her living room. She still crossed her ankles every four minutes and tossed her hair over her shoulder every six minutes. She had been playing the human for 150 years and it was a hard habit to break. She didn't understand why she was acting this way; her home was one place where she didn't need to pretend, where she could be what she was. Maybe it was a human memory surfacing. It happened occasionally. She would be in the middle of something and she would get a flash back or do something automatically that a human would do. Mainly her flash backs would consist of people she didn't recognise. Faces would be blurred or the image would flicker away as soon as it had come. One overriding emotion she felt though was one of pain and betrayal. She had learned to live with them.

xxxx

At last, footsteps on the path outside. Dr Cullen and his wife had arrived. She opened the door before then had time to step onto the front doorstep. She knew that they were just keeping human speed for appearances but her nearest neighbours were a 15 minute human walk away and her house was completely surrounded by trees on all sides.

"Welcome." She shook Carlisles hand again and turned to greet his wife.

She was beautiful in the classic sense of the word. Her demeanour oozed warmth and welcome. The smile on her face was so genuine that Annabella couldn't help but smile back at her. She felt like she already knew this woman and the thought caught her off guard.

"I'm Esme, Carlisles wife. What a lovely house."

Annabella smiled. This house was one of her favourites. It was three level, colonial style house that Annabella had seen over 60 years ago. It had been dilapidated and ready for destruction. She had done it up in keeping with its original style and some associates had kept an eye on it when she had to move on until she could move back again. "Thank you. You should see inside."

She showed them the house and gardens. She had kept them out of the two occupied bedrooms and showed them the music room and library. Her living arrangements were her own private business. Carlisle had lingered in her library, impressed by the textbooks she had. He had questioned her about how long she had been a doctor, why she chosen to become a doctor when she had education in so many other areas including languages, history and business. Annabella explained that she did dabble in the stock market for fun, when one existed, but no matter what happened in the world, children were a constant source of joy for her.

They sat in the large sun room at the back of the house. The silence was comfortable, as if amongst old friends.

"You mentioned your daughter, Alice, at the hospital. You have a coven?"

"Yes, we have five children." Exclaimed Esme, clearly proud of her coven. "Two of them, Roselie and Emmett, live a short distance from us. Alice, her husband Jasper, and Edward live with us at home."

"And you turned all of them?"

"Alice and Jasper found us with her gift. Carlisle turned Edward, Rosalie, Emmett, and I. We love Alice and Jasper as our own and they are all my children in every sense but biological." Emse assured, as if there was any doubt in her eyes. "Do you have a coven, a mate?"

Annabella looked away, not able to keep eye contact. "No, i'm alone. I was with my creator for a while but we parted on differences over diet." She motioned to her ochre eyes. She will come by every now and then. I have been alone since. I haven't come across any of our particular kind before."

"If your maker preferred human how are you vegetarian?"

"I was instructed to try it." She answered cryptically. She had learnt to be guarded about her past.

"Amazing. And your blood lust?" Carlisle asked, looking at her like a subject.

"I had one slip up when i was first born but i have always been able to control it. These days i can go three or four weeks without feeding."

"Incrediable. And..."

Esme laid a hand on his thigh. "How about we don't scare our new friend with all the questions about being a vampire."

Annabella flashed her a grateful look. Her head flew to the left as she concentrated on something and then rose to her feet in lightning speed. _Early for once s_he muttered under her breath. "Excuse, i must take care of someone, i will be right back."

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She flew out to the garden and down to the tree line. "Sophia, i know you are there. Come here please."

The branches parted way and a small girl in long sleeved top and skirt came forward. Her pale skin gave off a hue as the sun struggled to break through the clouds yet you could never escape the iridescent paleness that seemed at odds with her childish look.

"Yes mum?"

"You're early. I hope you hunted properly." Sophia looked over Annabella's shoulder. "We have guests sweetie. There is another vampire coven in Burton and they were curious."

"We never have guests." Sophia turned her eyes to the ground. "Can i meet them?"

"You know the rules?" Sophia nodded. "OK, but you know what their reaction will be, its nothing personal."

They walked back up to the house together, slowly for a vampire. "Wait here and let me give a bit of warning. I know you prefer the element of surprise but i like these people." Sophia giggled.

Annabella headed back in the living room. Esme was still on the couch but Carlisle stood in front of a painting.

"You have a Degas?"

Annabella moved beside him and looked at "Dance Rehearsal" with him. "Yes, an acquaintance gave it to me. It was rescued from the Fogg Art Museum after the flood. Aro thought i would appreciate it."

"Aro! You know Aro of the Volturi?" She nodded. "But how?"

"We go way back." Annabella tried to sound blasé but Carlisle wasn't buying it. "I want to show you someone. She would like to meet you and maybe then you will understand why i know Aro." She turned to the kitchen. "Sophia, come in please."

Carlisle and Esme turned towards the kitchen as Sophia stepped through the kitchen door. They gasped, Esme's hand flew to her mouth in horror. "She's...she's a child, an Immortal Child."

Sophia giggled at the name. "My name is Sophia. Annabella is my mummy."

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**Loved the idea of the Immortal Children so am running with it. Edward will make an appearance in Chapter 5 but Bellas relationship with Carlisle and Esme is very important to me so bear with it for now.**

**Again let me know what ya think.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Fanfiction is back up - finally!**

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**Chapter 4: The Memories That Haunt Us**

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They both turned to Annabella for confirmation. She nodded. "Sophia is the reason why I know the Volturi. Aro and I have an understanding."

"Nobody goes 'way back' with the Volturi Annabella. What did you do?" Carlisle's voice was full of horror.

"You do." Esme was beside Carlisle. "Carlisle studied under them 480 years ago in Volterra."

"I did too. Aro helped me develop my gifts."

"You have gifts too?" Carlisle asked, not missing her plural. He filed in the later box. "What kind of understanding do you have and how can you have an immortal child and still be alive?"

"I am under the protection of the Volturi. I have an immortal child because of our understanding." Annabella explained as though it were crystal clear but her guests confused faces. "I found Sophia when I was working as a doctor outside of Paris during the plagues of 2075. She was alone. Her creator had been killed and she was on the run from the Volturi. I took her in, tried to control her. Sophia has an incredible sense of awareness and conscience and she wasn't as lethal as other children in the past. Soon the Volturi came looking for me, specifically Aro. He is fond of me and had to see for himself what he thought I had done. I explained that she wasn't mine but I wanted to keep her, turn her over to my diet and help her learn. I agreed that he could call on my gifts when the need arose and in turn he let me keep Sophia, warning that the first sign of trouble with her and he would back, deal or no deal."

Carlisle turned back to Annabella. "Volturi only protect Volturi."

"Aro considers me to be his star pupil. It's an arrangement that has worked for over 75 years; I think we will be OK. He knows better than to take me on." Sophia came over to her and cuddled her legs. Annabella stroked Sophia's head. "I made me choice Carlisle and I will live with it as long as I am the only one who pays the price." Her tone considered the matter closed.

"You mentioned gifts. My sons Edward and Jasper have gifts also. Jasper is empathic, he can influence emotion. Edward is more powerful, he can read minds over distance."

"Aro would love to meet him. The confines of his ability frustrate him sometimes. I have three gifts. I have the ability to shield myself and others from other vampires gifts. It proves very useful. I am a bit like your Edward, I can read minds to an extent, not whole thoughts. I can read decisions people make and manipulate them at will. Aro loves that one. My telekinesis requires work but it will come with time."

"Wow, I can see why Aro would be so interested in you. It is rare to find a vampire with more than one gift. Does Sophia have any gifts?"

"No, not unless you include the ability to throw the mother of all tantrums every now and again as a gift. She has destroyed more than one bedroom."

Annabella took a step back from the conversation. What was she doing? She had spent years building up defences. She had kept her life from the world, never really interacting on any level with anyone except her patients and Sophia. Suddenly she finds another coven and she is leaking details worse than the Hoover Dam when it broke. There was a feeling she couldn't shake, especially with Esme. She had known this coven before but that was impossible, it was the first time she met them. For the first time since her creation, she questioned her human past and instantly dismissed it. There was no way that a coven would interact with humans and live the Volturi's wrath.

"Can we have a chat?" Esme had pulled her from her thoughts with a hand on her shoulder.

Carlisle turned to Annabella. "Do you mind if I study your daughter?"

"Ask her, she is old enough to know her own mind. Play fair Sophia!"

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Annabella led Esme through to the back garden and sat down on the patio seat out of human instinct rather than need.

"Something has been bothering me." Esme began. "Tell me about your past, your human past."

"I don't really remember much, it has faded over time. What I do know, I researched after I was born a vampire. It was strange, I found a letter to me that my human self had written. I had wanted to be turned." She paused, taking stock. "I grew up in Phoenix, Arizona with my mum and moved to Forks, Washington when my mother remarried. I don't know much about my life in Forks but my father died a few years after I was turned. The letter told me that my life in Forks really wasn't worth looking into but that my life in Phoenix had been happier. I changed my name when I was turned, like the letter told me too. I was called..."

"Isabella Swan." They both exclaimed at the same time.

Annabella was immediately on her feet and at the tree line. Esme had followed her and stood 10 feet away. "How do you know?"

"I knew an Isabella Swan who lived in Forks, in fact our whole family did. Do you remember anything about us?"

"My human memories have faded. They are very dim, like someone turned out the light. Maybe if you gave me more details."

"You came into our lives in 2004, you and our son Edward were in love. You were such a clumsy human and our whole family loved you straight away, we seen you as part of our family. You were good friends with Alice, you, Edward and her made quite the crew. You were so accepting of us, so fearless of what we were. I was so glad to see Edward happy at last, he had been alone so long that I couldn't care if you had a third eye and webbed feet as long as you loved him back."

"Isabella was in love with a vampire." She muttered in disbelief. An image passed through her head. A man standing in the sunlight, sparkling, the sun catching his bronze hair. He looked no older than his late teens. He stood looking at her, his shirt open, hard and lean muscle defining his chest. He was beautiful. She felt her breath hitch as his intense stare, like he was waiting for something. "Oh god." Feelings of intense love and pride washed over her.

"I remember him, Edward. His eyes. He loved her as a human."

"He loved you. Things changed after you were attaked by another vampire."

"James." The memories were flooding her mind now; the baseball game, the ballet studio, the hospital. "But we were still together after the attack?"

"Yes. Edward went to extra lengths to protect you but you had this idea that you wanted to be turned which Edward was dead set against. After your 18th birthday, Edward decided that the danger that you seemed to attract was because of him and your life would be better if we were no longer part of it. We left without saying goodbye."

"Jasper slipped. He attacked her. Edward left her." Her stunted sentences were punctuated with pain.

Annabella sank to her knees in the garden, the grass soaking her skirt. The pain and rejection washed over her. This is what Isabella had fought so hard to protect her from. The pain that had hurt so much that she thought being turned would heal or at least make her forget. After 150 years of success, Isabella's last wish had been torn apart with a conversation.

"He left Isabella alone in the forest. She thought he didn't love her anymore, he walked out of her life taking anything that might have shown his existence. She felt so much pain. That's why she went to Victoria to be turned. That's why I am here."

"Oh Bella, you are Isabella. Why do you talk about her as if she is someone else?"

"She asked me to. My human self told me in a letter that she wanted me to be someone else, to allow Isabella Swan to die that day. There was nothing about what happened or why she wanted to be turned and she told me not to look. She was banking on the degrading of human memories to hide her pain and I have never looked deeper into it. I have lived my life by that letter ever since. Isabella Swan and I are not the same person."

"You will always be Bella to us." Esme joined Annabella on the ground and put her arms around her shoulders.

"I'm Bella to Sophia as well. Even Aro calls me Annabella."

"You must come to the house, we can't let you go again. It hasn't been the same since you left. Let's go back to Carlisle and Sophia, he will want to know."

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**One more chapter to go before you meet Edward and the Gang again**

**Quick Question: Do the Twilight vampires have tastebuds? I know they don't eat but do they taste, i couldn't find the answer in the books**

**Need Help: I've just had my story rejected by 'Twilighted' and they recommended a beta reader to look at my work as i have never had one. Can any be my one, recommend one or help me find one...pretty please**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: I'm Her, She Is Me**

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Annabella stood up slowly and allowed Esme to half drag her back to the house. Carlisle was sitting on the couch beside Sophia, looking through a large book.

"Mummy!" Sophia jumped from the couch and ran at Annabella.

She scooped her up and buried her face in her daughters soft curls. "I hope you were good for Carlisle."

"She was. I can't believe her abilities. She is fast, much faster than an adult."

"You were showing off huh Soph, you know that is rude."

"Just a little. Come on mum, you said that we could always be ourselves here." She studied her mothers face. "Why do you look so sad? Did Mrs Cullen upset you?"

"No honey, we were just talking about old times. Times before I met you."

"Wow that is old." Sophia muttered jumping down from her mum.

Esme took a step forward toward Carlisle. "Carlisle, you remember Isabella Swan." She motioned towards Annabella.

"Oh Bella, I thought it was you, at the hospital, but I knew it wasn't possible. Your turning changed you quite significantly, but I can see you now." He opened his arms to her and she walked into his hug. She heard him make a decision she really couldn't change. He had decided that their family would not let her go again, regardless of what the outcome of meeting Edward would be. "I don't understand why you have a different name. Most vampires tend to keep their human names after they are turned. Their name tends to be one of the clearest memories they have.

"My human self, Isabella Swan asked me to change my name in a letter she left before she was turned. I followed the letter and decided to go with Annabella Lee after Reading Annabel Lee by Edgar Allan Poe in the cabin where Victoria and I stayed. I couldn't seem to shake the Bella part of me and kept it. How about we just call me Bella from now on."

"You are coming home with us aren't you. I know Alice will be dying to see you, if she hasn't already."

"Carlisle, this is my home. I will come with you to your house but I doubt Alice has seen me coming. My shield has been up since I met you at the hospital and Sophia has one on her permanently."

"That would explain why Alice only seen you. They should be back from their hunting party shortly. I will call Rose and Emmett as well. She would like to see you too I imagine. Will you let Alice see you now? They will come home quicker."

"What and give up the chance to be the first person to surprise Alice in over 200 years? I don't think so." Bella laughed softly.

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Bella and Sophia followed behind Carlisle car, covering the 20 miles to their home in no time at all. Law enforcement was pretty thin on the ground in these dark days and none of them ventured into countryside outside of the town; too many bandits. It was perfect for vampires with a likening to fast cars.

The Cullen house in Burton was exactly what she thought it would be. Even though her memories on the house in Forks were sketchy at best, this house seemed Esme and Carlisle to a tee. The three level house stood on the side of a hill, buried deep in the forest. It was far from the main road, up a winding driveway. It blended in to the forest seamlessly. The walls were made from a darken wood, that Bella surmised came from the surrounding forest, the windows were large and the ones on the ground floor went from floor to ceiling. Garages were situated to the left of the house, no doubt housing the super cars that the Cullen family were always so fond of, as were most vampires. They followed Esme up to the house as Carlisle parked the cars. The inside was opened into one huge room with what looked like a small kitchen area in the far corner. The decor was much muted with splashes of pale greens, blues and creams defining each space. The furniture was contemporary yet looked homely. Bella hated to think how she had managed to collect furniture of this quality or look in current climates. There was little money to be had amongst the human population so luxuries were rarely manufactured and on the whole not encouraged.

"Esme, it is beautiful. To think you only furnished it a week ago. Where?"

"Oh we had to pull a lot of it out of various storage areas we have. It's not exactly to my taste yet but it's getting there and there are a few additions I would like to make to the house itself. We call it home for the moment."

"How long are you planning to stay?" Bella was horrified at the fact she might lose Esme again.

"Well this area seems more peaceful that the last one and we're much better hidden here. We plan to be here a while yet."

Bella let out a sigh, a while in vampires time was at least a century. "We've only been here a year, just managed to get away with our lives in the last place. It is the last time I let Soph to convince me to try South America. They are far too superstitious for their own good."

They shared a laugh as Esme showed her own home off. By the time they had finished Carlisle had returned and was standing in the living area with two guests, taking in hushed tones. Sophia had stayed behind in a room with a piano and was busy rattling out Bach. The two guests turned in her direction; Emmett and Rosalie.

Emmett gasped and made his way towards her. Bella stood stock still and waited for his reaction. She was prepared for them all; revulsion, anger even hatred. What she was not prepared for was Emmett being Emmett. He picked her up with his hands on her slight shoulders and he turned her around his arms before crushing her to his chest.

"Bella, it's really you."

He crushed her into a hug and Bella let out a playful squeal. She heard Sophias rapid footfall towards her and made Emmett put her down. She looked to find Sophia standing beside her in a crouched defence position. As much as she would like to see the little rugrat go up against Emmett she placed a calming hand on her daughters head. He would have to catch her first.

"No harm, no foul Soph. Emmett was just happy to see me."

Rosalie and Emmett stood in as much shock as a vampire could possibly get, staring dead at Sophia. She fidgeted under their intense glare before looking up and giving them a small wave. They turned to Bella, confusion and disbelief across their faces.

"It's OK. This is my daughter Sophia. Don't worry, it's all perfectly legal." Still they didn't wavier. "I didn't create Sophia, someone else did. The Volturi and I have a deal and Sophia stays with me."

"She seems very in control." Rosalie offered.

"I would hope so, she is 100 years old. Her diet makes it easier on her as long as she hunts regularly." Bella took a small step in Rosalie's direction. "Rosalie."

She shifted, almost embarrassed. "Carlisle said you don't remember much of your time with us."

"Its slowly coming back, patchy but getting there."

"I was horrible to you, beyond mean." Bella nodded her understanding. "I even refused to help you when..."

"James came after me." Bella shrugged. "Maybe we can start afresh. You know, take advantage of the fact my memories aren't up to scratch yet."

Rose nodded and moved to embrace Bella in a light hug. "I'm glad you're back, for all our sakes." She muttered. "The others?" She asked Carlisle.

"Alice called while we were driving back. They'll be here in an hour. She doesn't know Bella is back."

A known tension filled the room as the weight of what was coming descended on those in the room. Bella had excused herself to take a run and clear her head and left Sophia in Emmett and Rosalie's capable care, Sophia begging for a piggy back ride.

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Her thoughts were buzzing in her head, unmonitored and uncontrollable. The memories Esme had induced were still coming to her accompanied by new ones. There was one scene that constantly played out. Isabella was lying in a small bedroom, lying in the covers while Edward lay beside her, her head on his chest. She appeared to be asleep and he was watching her. Given her change to a vampire she could now understand the massive level of self-control he had to have just be there with Isabella. The sacrifices he must have made. That made her earlier memory so much harder to bear. How could he just leave Isabella, her, as if her were just some trivial relationship. He had said he loved her. The agony folded in on her without warning, no wonder Isabella had made her forget the pain. He didn't just leave Isabella, he left her, and she was Isabella. The pain cut right through her. If was like nothing she ever felt before, ripping a hole in her chest she feared would swallow her whole. Bella had never wished more in that moment that she could cry, that she could release some of the pain consuming her.

Slowly she could feel the pain ebb to be replaced with anger. He had left her, whatever the reasons, he had left her when he had promised never to leave her. The memory was clear. When she had woken up in the hospital after James attack he had promised. _'I'm not going anywhere. I'll be right here as long as you need me." _Her thoughts were interrupted by the rare sound of a car. It was at least three miles out but moving fast. She stood up and made her way quickly back to the Cullen house. Sophia had jumped into her arms and snuggled in, picking up on her mums' emotions.

"They're back." Bella muttered as the front door opened.

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**Many thanks go to my wonderful reviewers but especially to 'I Do Not Stumble For Thy' who loves the Immortal Child as much as i do.**

**Writing that chapter was the second hardest of the story for some reason and i am still not completely happy about it. Let me know thoughts opinions and idle wonderings with a wee review with thhe button just down there.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Wow, over 770 hits. That is the most hits ever for one of my stories! I am truely blown away and humbled by that. I had thought due to the lack of reviews that people had gone off the story, the last two chapters were the hardest to write. Anyhoo, enjoy my mpst favourite chapter of all.**

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Chapter 6: Family Reunions

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Alice danced into the room, her tinkling laughter filling the room. "You should have seen Edward and Jasper wrestling. I swear, I didn't think they would ever stop rolling down that hill. Oh! We have guests."

Alice stopped as she took in the brown haired woman with her back to them. She also noticed a small pair of legs that were wound around the womans waist. The whole family watched as the woman spun on her heel and turned to face them, a child buried in her neck.

"Hello Alice." Bella held in an unneeded breath.

She watched Alice in amusement. It was the first time that she had ever seen surprise on her face. The look, however, was quickly replaced with one of absolute joy.

"Oh Bella, Bella, Bella."

Alice ran forward as Sophia's arms tightened around her neck. Bella took a step back. This had to be unsettling for Sophia. Bella had hardly associated with other vampires, none outside of the Volturi, and she had always tried to keep Sophia away from large groups of people outside of her school.

Alice seemed to register that Bella wasn't alone. "Is that an...Immortal Child?"

Bella felt Sophia snort against her neck. "Yes, she is. Alice, this is my daughter Sophia. Sophia, sweetie, this is Alice. We used to be friends a long time ago."

The three newcomers all gasped as Sophia turned her head to them and gave them a dazzling smile.

"She's so young!" Jasper exclaimed.

"No. I'm. Not. I am 106 years old. Mum says that's old, even for a vampire." She turned back to Bella. "Mummy, when you say a long time ago, how long we talking?"

She smiled at her time-obsessed daughter. "Oh, way before I found you."

Sophia rolled her eyes. "Mummy we both know you didn't have a life before me." Rosalie stifled a laugh behind her. "Hello Alice." She disentangled herself from around Bella, deeming the situation now safe.

"Come on Sophia, lets go play." Esme held out her hand and Sophia took it, Carlisle holding the other as they headed out the back door.

"Be careful. She will have you tearing around the forest for hours looking for her if you play hide and seek." They subtly left the 6 adults alone, silence strained.

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"Hello Bella." Jasper spoke, making no move to come any nearer

"It's OK Jasper. What happened was understandable and you're completely forgiven." She offered him a hand which he shook before pulling her into a short hug. "It's been a while."

Bella turned and looked at the one person she had been avoiding for 150 years. "Edward." She managed a quick nod to him before turning back to Alice. "I suppose you're all wondering about Sophia and about how the hell I am still here after you all thought I had died."

Alice had taken a seat beside her on the sofa, Jasper perched himself on the arm of the chair. Edward hung back, leaning against the living room door frame.

"Why didn't I see Sophia, or you for that matter?"

"You did see me. I was the vampire you saw in the children's ward of the hospital. I changed a lot when I was turned, unless you heard my voice you wouldn't have known it was me. As for Sophia, you can't see her because I won't let you or any vampire see her. I have a gift that means I can shield myself, people and vampires from other vampires mental gifts. Sophia has one of these around her permanently. Too many vampires have tried to harm her over the years and Jane of the Volturi has taken a dislike to her. She now falls under the Volturi's protection, much to Demetri's and Jane's disgust, after I cut a deal with them."

"Nobody cuts a deal with the Volturi. What was the deal?"

"The terms of the deal are of no concern Jasper, I will deal with the consequences when they arise. Sophia is safe and that is **all** that matters to me."

"What happened to you?" Alice asked, laying her tiny hand over Bellas'.

They sat for hours as Bella told the story of Victoria turning her, leaving out the minor detail of her going looking to be changed. Some members of the Cullen family already suffered enough guilt from their sudden departure from her life. She told them of her adventures overseas and her studies. Of her gifts and time spent under Aro and the Volturi. Sophias' story had provided some amusement to the group, mostly over her immature antics and how she learned her self control. Growls from Edward and Emmett had peppered the story and she had paused to allow Carlisle and Esma to join in the conversation and Sophia to curl up in her lap.

"So you see, I'm not the Isabella Swan you remember. In fact I haven't been Isabella Swan in 150 years. My name is Annabella Lee."

"Why did you change your name?" Rosalie asked.

"When Isabella, when I was changed, she wrote me a letter. Part of it was list of instructions about what she wanted me to do with my new life and what she wanted me to remember. The first instruction was to change my name. She didn't want me to remember what pain she, I, was in before she was turned."

"Pain I caused when I left." Edward spoke for the first time, still leaning against the door frame.

Bella whipped around to him. "Yes the pain you caused her. Do you really think that she, that I, would really just move on as if I had never met you. You walked into my life and showed me a love I had never experienced before, convinced me you loved me too, and then walked away as if I meant nothing. Esme said you did it to protect me. Some protection job Edward. I still got most of what I wanted and you got what you wanted and you took the cowards way out to get it. If you are looking for absolution Edward, you are looking for it from the wrong person." Edward looked away in shame. "Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper and Alice, it has been so good to see you all again. Please feel free to drop by anytime. Sophie and I have to go, my next shift at the hospital starts soon."

She pulled Sophia into her arms and grabbed her car keys from the sideboard. Carlisle had left her car parked outside the garage. Bella placed Sophia in the passenger seat and drove off.

"Well that went well." Esme commented as she watched the headlights disappear down the drive. "Don't worry Edward. It has been a shock to her, finding us here. She will calm down and come around. She will forgive you. Right now let's be glad she is back in our lives."

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**'Without Forgiveness, There Is No Future" - Desmond Tutu**

**Please review and let me know your thoughts.**


	7. Chapter 7

**I have figured out that i have written 253,986 words of fanfiction (not including the remaining 4 chapters of TLITL.) I celebrated with a little happy dance!**

**Over 1000 hits for TLITL - serious happy dance followed that little realisation!!!! You guys rock! Anyway - next chapter**

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Chapter 7: Technicalities**

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Bella paced the floor of the living room and Sophia watched, mildly amused. She had never seen her mum like this. Usually her mum was cool, calm and collected but now she was on edge and very anxious. She had like the Cullens, especially Esme and Carlisle. They had taken her out of the forest and into a meadow to play catch with a baseball. It felt so good to run at her full speed. Bella let her use abilities on a regular basis but she could always feel Bellas' anxiety in case she lost control. It had been 32 years since her last slip and it had taken her years to convince Bella to let her go school. Sophia found children fascinating, their ways, their thoughts and the relationships they formed with each other. Children were different from adults. Whenever she and Bella went to the store, adults stared at Bella and her insanely beautiful sister. They were drawn in by the strange girls but their beauty and gracefulness also repelled them, as it should. Sophia had felt rejection when Bella first found her and they would go out, as was a natural reaction for a child. Now that Bella had helped her develop and control she saw that their reaction was for their own protection and it helped Sophia control her thirst with a little more ease.

She could hear Bella mutter speedily and low. The youngest one, Edward, had obviously done something to piss her off. Sophia had only seen her mother so angry once and it was Jane had reduced Sophia to a cowering mess on the floor when she had first been taken to the Volturi. The Cullens were clearly someone from her mums past, way back past, but they had seemed friendly enough.

"Mummy, doorbell."

Bella looked at her daughter with an unamused look. A few seconds later the doorbell rang. "That gets really annoying you know rugrat. Who is it?"

"I think we both know who it is going to be."

Bella flung her arms up in frustration and stalked to the door. Edward stood on the door step looking at his feet as Bella pitched the door backwards. She walked away, leaving the door open as a barely disguised to come in.

"I must say, i'm surprised to see you here." Bella muttered, her hands on her hips in a defensive position over the other side of the room.

"Me too, i was in two minds about whether or not to come."

"I know." She said sarcastically, tapping the side of her head for clarification, a smug smile on her face. "Not nice to have someone in your head is it."

"You did that. Bella! Alice convinced me, couldn't understand why i wouldn't. How could you."

"Hey, i didn't like it any more than you did. Free will is especially important to me; i don't take any pleasure in my ability. Why _are_ you here?"

"To talk. You walk into our lives after 150 years and you expect me to not want to talk."

Sophia jumped down from the couch and walked towards Bella. "I'm going for a walk. Be OK mum." She hugged her mother's waist before zipping in front of Edward. She reached up and pushed his chest, causing him to rebound backwards. "You upset my mum and you will have me to deal with." And she was gone.

"She calls you mum. Bella you still look young, early twenties at a push, how does she get away with being your child?"

"Edward, she's a child but by no stretch imagination is she stupid! People think we are sisters. She only calls me 'mum' in the house or in front of other vampires. Jeeze."

They now stood directly opposite each other still on other sides of the room. Edward resisted the temptation to close the gap. Somehow she seemed freaked out enough without the closeness. "Carlisle said you chose to be turned. You forgot that part."

"You knew my feelings on that. It was partly your fault anyway. You told me that human memories fade after you are turned and that was exactly what i wanted. Victoria wanted revenge on you and i told her it would hurt you more if she turned me. A month after you were gone i went looking for her. I couldn't take it anymore. I was lost without you. Not the love sick kind of lost when you break up with someone, the real kind of lost when life isn't worth living anymore. I tried to imagine the next 70 or so as a human without you and it ached, the kind of pain that no amount of morphine would take the edge off."

"You promised me. You promised me that you wouldn't do anything reckless, Charlie needed you. I needed you to be safe."

"You broke your promise first when you left me. You promised me you would never leave me."

"I said i would stay as long as you needed me. You didn't need me in your life, i was dangerous to have in your life."

"Pfft, a technicality and you know it."

He paused, pinching the bridge of his nose with his fingers. "I came back you know."

Bella looked up at him at the revelation. "You did, when?"

"About 10 years after we left. I found your grave, Charlies too. It was dated about 3 months after we left, Charlies a couple of years after. Why is there a grave if there was no body?"

"I left a letter for Charlie in my truck, when i went looking for Victoria. It told him that i had gone to find somewhere to die, that i couldn't live without you anymore. It must have taken him a few months to accept i had meant it. We were too much alike. I can't believe you came back. Why?"

"I couldn't do it anymore, live without you. I was too selfish so i came back for even though i thought it would be best for you if i left. When i saw that grave, i completely lost it. Alice came with me when she saw a vision of your grave before I left. I managed to hold us together for long enough to get her home. It was a very dark time for my family, losing you. You were one of us." He paused to take stock. "You do realise that Esme is now talking about Sophia as if she has gained a granddaughter. They all love you that much."

Bella took a step towards. His anguish was genuine; he hadn't lied like she had expected him to. "You said you completely lost it, what happened."

"Alice kept getting visions of me killing myself. Carlisle and Esme refused to let me leave the house except to hunt and even then one of them went with me. I was under constant guard for 30 odd years. Eventually they saw that i was coping, withdrawn and silent but not suicidal and Alice had stopped having visions of my demise. I waited for Carlisle and Esme to take a trip to an island that Carlisle had bought her, Alice and Jasper went with them. I think they all needed a break away from me. I waited until they were all on the island and too far away to make it back in time, i made the final decision to go to Volterra. I went to the Volturi to plead for my death but they refused. I tried to make them, exposed myself to the humans but they still refused." Bella sniggered. "You find this funny?"

"No, god no. The Volturi's refusal was just Aros warped sense of humour. Did you really think that your family would be able to keep a human pet a secret from the Volturi? Edward, you were a vampire dating a human and you broke one of their laws. Aro knew of my past but i have made him swear never to tell me. He probably thought he was protecting his favourite plus and with a gift like yours he probably would have preferred you join him rather than die."

"I even tried purposely provoking other vampires in the early days but Alice and Emmett always came after me. Carlisle had tried most of the other methods when he was turned. In the end Esme and Alice begged me to stop. I was hurting them so badly so i stopped on the agreement that they would leave me alone to wallow. I moved out of the house and lived away from them for a while, for a decade every so often. In the last 20 years or so i have been finding it easier to cope with the loss. I'm moved back in with the family and made an effort to be part of them for their sake. I never once forgot you. You were always on my mind, your face in my thoughts every night when the world went to bed." He took a step towards her. "Of one thing you can be certain, i loved you so much, i still do. With everything i am, i love you."

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**As if there was any doubt that Edward loved Bella! Big thank you to stariinights for a very wonderful review that made me smile and picked me up from a depressing funk.**

**To Tellytubby101 - Edwards lack of reaction was mainly due to guilt and on the other question - i have written a fic with Bellas time with the Volturi and it will go up soon (will also be able to be read as a stand alone piece)**

**Read and Review pretty please with sprinkles on top!**

**Next chapter is a little Bella and Alice 1 on 1 time with a walk out West!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Sorry about the lack of update. I am on a birthday holiday in New Zealand and my 3G phone isn't getting the greatest reception. Thank you all so much for the absolutely stunning reviews and i appreciate them so much.**

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Chapter 8: Black Holes and Revelations

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Time it's self had stopped, at least that's what it felt like. He still loved her. Her mind flew around and around in circles. She had been expecting excuses or stuttering or even a sorry or two but not declarations of love.

"I'm sorry, i just can't do this now." She turned on her heel and was gone in a faint breeze.

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She ran like land was indefinite. Running was her thing; it had been her thing since she had become a vampire. She wasn't as fast as Sophia but she could cover distance. Victoria had joked that when she ran, she was running from a past that she tried to forget. Bella, however, knew that she used running to run from anything. The forest had given way to farmed land. Most of it was now owned by the government to insure that the collapse of the food market never happened again but it was still a comforting sight to her. The moonlight bounced off the different crops creating a silver and grey textured blanket. Bella could feel the corn and oat ears run through her fingers as she bound through the fields. Even if the marshals seen her there was no way they would ever catch her.

Her mind started to settle the further she ran from Burton. The feelings of anger towards Edward she could understand in fact they made her feel normal. These new confusing feelings however were just too alien. He Loved Her. Not past tense but present, right here, right now. The human feeling that had come back to her were starting to feel second nature now. There was love there but there was also so much anger and she didn't know if that love would be enough to counteract the anger.

It wasn't so much that he had left nor that he had broken his promise to stay. It was that when they had stood in that wood, as he told her that she wasn't good for him, that he didn't want her to go with them, the words had come so easily. They had flowed from his mouth with such honesty that she had believed him. Even though she knew now that they were lies, her mind still believed them true. If he could lie to her once, he would do it again.

Bella stopped running, she had to. Firstly she was nearing what used to be the Canadian border and no one, not even vampires crossed into Canada these days. Secondly, she would have to go back and face what was in Burton eventually and lastly, there was someone following her, footfall about 2 miles behind her. She stopped and waited.

"Phew, thank goodness. I thought you were never gonna stop, i couldn't see if you were going to." Alice had stopped a few feet from Bella looking like she had always been beside her.

"Sorry, i run, it's my thing. How did you know to follow me?"

"I had a vision of Edward and came looking for you."

"Is he OK? Did something happen?" Fear chilled her already cold body.

"No, i saw him dejected and sitting on your sofa. I take it his apology didn't go well."

"I left. It's all too much. I mean i can take a fair amount on but the last two days have been too much. First i find another coven then my human past comes back. Now my only long lost human love is back in my life, as i am just remembering him, sprouting declarations of love. Too much Alice."

She clapped her hands together. "He told you he loved you. That's great." She saw Bellas face. "Or not great. Come on Bella, lets walk back and I'll tell you a story."

The two friends walked back at a speed that even an old average car would struggle with but for the vampires it was simply a doddle in the park.

"Before we left we sat down as a family and took a vote on whether to leave. Rosalie voted to go, Emmett supported Rose. Jasper refused to vote as he thought it was his fault we were even leaving. Esme and i voted to stay with you. Edward of course voted to go and Carlisle supported his son as he would do with any of us. We all fought with each other but we move as a family. It was awful Bella, none of us were speaking and Esme spent most of the time trying to get Edward to come out of his room or to talk to us. He was so distraught with what had happened and leaving would be the only way of guaranteeing you would be safe. We all knew that you would try and follow us or track us down so Edward made the ultimate sacrifice to make sure you didn't. From what he knew of the human psychic he thought a clean break would be best for you and the anger from hunting you would stop you coming after us. He did it all for you Bella, all he's been doing for the last 150 years is for you.

He was never the same though. He went back to the lonely Edward of before you came in to our lives. The amount of times we would all go running after him when he tried to kill himself. We would all rotate in making sure tabs were kept on him and making sure he hunted well. Not to mention the time we went to Isle Esme and he went off to the Volturi. He got an earful from Esme and i about that. You would not believe how relieved we were when he came home in one piece, that he came home at all."

"I think that may be my doing. Aro knew of my past when i let him my mind once but i made him promise to never tell. He knew i was once involved with Edward when i was a human which is probably why he spared him. Aro wouldn't risk upsetting me plus he wouldn't destroy any vampire with a gift such as Edwards, or yours for that matter."

"See Bella, you are a part of this family too. We are your brothers and sisters and much as your our sister. Well all except Edward because that would be just plain weird. I don't think i will ever get used to your involvement with the Volturi. Do you see now why he did what he did and why he said what he did? When he says he loves you, he means it. You would have felt him make the decision at the same time i got a vision that he was going to see you. The question is do you love him?"

Bella paused to let Alice's words sink in. "I've always thought a part of me was missing, that i wasn't always meant to be alone. I thought that i had filled that hole when i found Sophia but seeing Edward again makes me reconsider."

"Bella, do you love him? Can you get past this?"

"Yes, i love him."

Alice clapped her hands together. "Well then let's go home. I have a wedding to plan."

"Woah Alice. Let's close the barn door, that pony hasn't bolted yet and won't be bolting...ever."

"Lets see." Alice tapped her head.

"Yes lets." Bella tapped her own head and Alice's smile fell.

"You cheat!"

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The rest of the way was spent playing catch up and talking like over a century hadn't passed. Alice, ever the fashionarta had switched to designing, as fashion was as redundant as a past dependency on crude oil. She was ready for when the catwalk made a comeback.

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**There you have it, she loved him but is it all too late? Will the thought that Bella doesn't love him finally push Edward to the edge of that knife? Will Alice and Bella make it back from their 'run ' in time..tune in next time on TLITL**


	9. Chapter 9

**Again with the slow update. New Zealand is amazingly beautiful. I am finally getting with the times and starting a blog on which will chart my life (as pathetic as it is) and my writing. Basically i am aiming to introduce my friends to my writing and my readers to my life. Will upload the address in my profile when i set up my page. **

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Chapter 9: A Lifetime Written on the Walls**

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Edward was waiting for her on a bench in front of the house. Alice had shrewdly left her at the towns boundary.

"Bella I..."

She put her long finger to his lips. "I understand what you did and why you did it. You wanted me to have the human experience without the danger, even though i was a proper little danger-magnet. I have been to university, i have seen the world and i have a child. I did all this as a vampire. I can forgive you for it and maybe over time i will forget it again. I love you and i want to try this again but there will have to be some rules in place.

"I promise..."

"Rule 1: No more promises. I am here to stay with you forever if you will have me but if you ever leave me again without my mutual consent then i will tear you apart and burn you myself. This is a forever thing and if you can't do that then leave now."

"I'm not going anywhere."

"Rule 2: I am a vampire now, i have a pretty powerful arsenal of weapons and gifts of my own not to mention i am very good friends with the head of vampire law enforcement. You do not need to protect me anymore. I am not the clumsy, klutzy human you used to know. I want you to be completely honest with me at all times about **everything**.

"OK but what..."

"No buts! Rule 3: This is the most important one. Sophia and I come as a complete package. You can't have me without her. She is my daughter and she will be with me, us, forever. I know that an Immortal Child freaks other vampires out and that it makes them uncomfortable. If at any point, you can't handle that any more, tell me and i will let you leave. She is a child in many ways and profound changes affect her even more than they do us."

"I can't wait to get to know her and she will have the best set of aunts and uncles any kid would want. Can i tell Esme to get another bedroom ready for Sophia then?"

"Edward this is Sophia's home and we will continue to live here. You can move in here if this works out but she can stay with Esme and Carlisle sometimes of course, she is their granddaughter now." She held out her hand to him. "Come inside and I'll give you a tour of the house."

He took her hand and they walked through the house. She showed in all the pieces of art, paintings and sculptures alike that adorned the living room and hallways. Sophias bedroom took him by surprise. He had expected a pink princess palace but instead he found a huge jungle themed room with all different animals painted in the jungle that wound its way around all four walls. Clocks adored the wall where her door was, all different kinds; cuckoo, astronomical, even a large digital one with a weather station. In one corner sat a large, ornately carved grandfather clock, its pendulum swinging silently to mark time. There was not one single ticking sound in the entire room.

"She's a little time obsessed which i understand is natural for a child who will never grow up. The grandfather clock has only just arrived. It was a gift for Sophias 100 year birthday at the beginning of the year. It was from the wives of the Volturi, they have grown a bit attached to her. It only arrived a few months ago. It got lost trying to find us after we ran from Brazil."

"You celebrate birthdays?" Edward asked incredibly.

"Sophia is still essentially six years old. She lives for birthday parties."

Bellas room was slightly smaller than Sophia's but obviously had an en-suite. The room was decorated in neutral tones, the walls painted in a pale green that seemed the shadow when you moved around the room. The room was flooded with light from an almost wall of glass facing the back garden. There were a few books, obviously very old, sitting on three bookshelves on a wall to the side of her bed, a small black box sat discretely beside the books. That was when he noticed the pale grey speakers that had been set into the wall. The black box was a music system but there was no sign of any CDs. There was also an easel sitting empty in one corner, beside the window. The room was dominated by a wooden, 4 poster bed, covered in ivory silk covers.

"So you painted the animals in Sophia's room?"

"Yeah, I like to paint and sketch though I 'm not very good at it. It's calming."

"You know, when you were human you didn't see yourself very clearly. You haven't changed. I think your paintings are great. One question though why do you have a bed?"

"I hear minds for miles around. Do you know how many decisions a person makes in a day then changed their mind? Also developing my telekinesis is draining so I have a bed to lie in and rest my head, not my body."

She showed him the library that Carlisle had admired earlier before showing him her favourite room in the house, the piano room. Bella took a seat on the piano stool and walked as Edward walked the room. Sophia called this her piano room where as Bella called this the memory room. He has stopped at a wall covered in photos of all different sizes, all in frames. They were mostly of Sophia over the time they had been together. Pictures of her taken where they had travelled, in front of their various homes or just candid shoots of her taken unawares. There were others of them together most looked like Bella was holding the camera away from her or they had been taken on a timer. They were always smiling or laughing, never a serious photo of them together. One photo caught his eye. Bella and Sophia were sitting behind a sandcastle, looking very proud of their epic creation. Their skin sparkled in the sunlight that shone from an unclouded sky. For the first time in 150 years, Edward realised what Bella had meant when she called him beautiful the day when he had shown her his true self in the meadow. They were both beautiful beyond words.

"She really has been your whole life hasn't she?" Bella silently nodded.

The wall opposite the windows was adorned with sketches. They started basic, simple line drawings of figures and messy coloured trees and animals. The series finished with more concrete drawings of buildings and forest scenes. There were some of children playing in a sand pit.

"Are these Sophia's?"

"Yeah we ran out of room on the fridge so now she gets a whole wall. I've been trying to teach her draw but she has the attention span of a 6 year old so it's taken us about 20 years to get this far. Right now she is going back through her smart alec stage."

He ran his fingers along the gaps in between the pictures, feeling the smooth wall rough against his fingertips. The last wall was Bellas alone. It was a collection of graduation hats and university qualifications. She had never put herself through high school and as long as people bought the story she fed, she looked old enough. There were 12 M.D certificates long with 2 degrees in Child Psychology, 1 in Ancient History and, her most recent one, one in Zoology.

"You work in the same hospital as Carlisle, how do you do it?

"I have an extremely low blood lust plus children's blood smells different, very unappealing."

"No, i mean how do you stand to see all the blood? I remember when they did blood typing in school, when we both lived in Forks, you were a mess; fainting, sweating and going green."

"Oh really?" She was surprised. "I guess when you've actually drunk a full body of the stuff it loses its revulsion factor."

"And this one?"He pointed to an A3 sized frame in which was housed 2 pages of handwriting and a well folded and faded photograph of a girl in the sun.

"That is the letter that i wrote myself before i was turned. I lived my life to that letter for 150 years. The photo is the human me, which is probably who you remember me most as."

"You were so beautiful even as a human. I thought that the angels in heaven couldn't be as angelic as you were. Clumsy but so very, very beautiful. How do you live now if you say you **lived** by the letter?"

"I am Isabella Swan now, again. That letter is a reminder of where i came from and where i will never come back to. It will be nice for you to have a reminder of the human me."

"I already have a human you up here, in my memories, for eternity."

A peace settled on the room. "Come and sit here, play me something." Bella asked

"How did know i played?"

"I remember you playing to me once. Esme also mentioned that used to play. Maybe you can teach Sophia to compose. She's been banging out Bach and Mozart for 30 odd years and i need to hear something different."

They both sat at the piano and Edward begun to play. A sweet melodic tune filled the room. it sounded vaguely familiar, like she had heard it before. The tune reminded her of rapid movements, like water running over stones in a stream. Bella was distracted by a voice that sounded like Sophia in her head._ 'I'll leave them alone, maybe another day.'_

"You can come in sweetie."

"Hi mum, hi Edward. You play?" Edward nodded. "Can you teach me to play something like that?"

"Of course i can, i can teach you to play lots of things."

"What could wait until tomorrow?" Bella asked, glad that Sophia was comfortable enough around Edward to talk to him.

"I want to go up to the Cullen house. Emmett is going to teach me to play something called American football. He says its the game of real men."

"Of course you can go Sophia." Edward looked at Bella for confirmation. She nodded with a wide smile on her face. "We'll come with you. Alice must be busting at the seams seeing us together."

"Edward, she still can't see me. I still have a shield up."

"OK, well can i tell her?"

Bella nodded. "But if Alice so much as thinks the word wedding i'll part her from her free will permanently."

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**Of course she kept the letter - it was her rule for living for 150 years! Let me know if you have any questions as i did write a complete background to Bellas 150 year back story but it would bore you to tears if i published the lot as a story.  
**

**Last Chapter coming up - Epilogue.**


	10. Chapter 10

**You have my uber-twilight obsessed flatmate Anya to thank for this happy ending. I wanted to take it somewhere oh so deeper and darker but she talked me around and planted a seed in my head. This WHOLE story is in fact dedicated to Anya as she listened to my fustrations and gave me her opinion on the whole story before i posted it. THANK YOU - have a strawberry!**

**Other thank yous are: to Hollygirl-93 (you live in an amazing country) and stariinights for their amazing reviews and constant encouragement and pointing out where i went wrong. Also to everyone who reviewed, popped an alert to me or my story and to all those that added me as a favourite.**

**This is my final chapter for TLITL but a sequel is being planned out as we speack so that i can develop Sophia a bit more and Edward learns to be a dad to a never aging 6 year old. Will hopefully be ready for posting on early April as i am on holiday for most of March.  
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**Sophia had ran to the Cullens while Bella and Edward took his car. The lights were on and it looked welcoming and warm in the twilight darkness. Bella could see the whole family sitting in the living room, Esme and Carlisle talking animatedly with Sophia on one of the couches.

Chapter 10: Let Me Go Home - Epilogue

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"Are you ready?"

Bella took a breath and reached for his hand. They walked hand in hand up the stairs into the house and prepared for the family's reaction. As they entered the living room all faces turned towards them all sharing a look of anticipation, Alice positively jumping on the balls of her feet.

"We're back together."

Edward and Bella held their ground as the Cullens surged forward in congratulation. Alice reaching them first, planting a delicate kiss on Bella cheek. "Welcome back sis."

Emse pulled Bella close while Carlisle shock Edwards hand. Somehow, Bella thought, Carlisle had always known that Edward would do the right thing eventually. "I'm glad you remembered us."

Rosalie hung back as always but offered her blessing in a small smile. Emmett hovered around Rosalie just as Jasper hung over Alice but both were smiling broadly. Bella sighed deeply. That gaping hole was gone. The only person missing from the crowd was Sophia. She sat on the couch waiting for all the drama to be over. She knew whatever was happening was important and Edward was in their lives but she couldn't grasp just how important this was to the rest of the Cullens.

"So Emmett, i believe you are going to teach my daughter how to play American Football."

Emmett looked sheepishly away, not an easy task for someone of his intimidating size. "Yeah, i mean as long as it is OK with you."

"Its fine, Sophia can more than take care of herself. I warn you though, she is fast."

"Nah, no one is as fast as Edward. Come on, let's go up to the field."

The Cullens and the Lees ran through the forest, the inky darkness not affecting their vision. They came to a stop in a large cleaning, easily half a mile square, surrounded by forest on all four sides. The moonlight bathed the clearing its silvery glow, casting shadows on the forest.

"How do you guys find these clearings? First Forks, now here?"

"Easy, we buy the land then do a bit of 'tree thinning.'" Emmett joked before running to join the others in the middle of the field.

Becoming a vampire had not endeared Bella to sports any more than when she was human. She walked over to near the edge of the clearing and sat on a rocky outcrop. Emmett and Jasper were explaining the rules to Sophia, Alice and Rosalie were throwing the ball back and forth while Edward marked out half way and goal lines with his foot. Carlisle was at Bella side in an instant, Esme walking behind at a slower speed to give them space.

"I have always known you and Edward would be together in one way or another. Before we left, you and i had a conversation right after your birthday fall. You were asking me on whether i believe vampires had a soul or had an after-life and i told you that i did. That is the reason i knew you two would end up together. God would never allow two people, whos souls were joined so inexplicably together, to be apart forever. You would be together whether it be in this life or the next. I am just glad we got to be a part of it too. Now i am going to join the others and i will see you later."

Esme kissed her husband on the cheek as he moved out to join the others who had finished explaining the rules to Sophia.

"Are you home?"

As Bella watched Sophia move out towards the goal line, Edward observing her safety, to turn and run towards her uncles and aunts with the ball she realised that she was indeed finally home.

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**Thank you for joining me on this very exciting journey. All the reviews and PMs have made my day, every day for 3 weeks. I am working on some new Twilight Saga stuff as i work my way back through the books. and learn about the other characters more. Can someone recommend where i can get information and 'facts' on various aspects of the book to make sure i keep in line with the Twilight 'rules'? I have Wikipedia but anywhere else?**

**Look out for a comedy piece called Supermarket Sweep and a back story on Bellas time with the Volturi as in TLITL and the sequel to TLITL. Please review and let me know if it was a suitable ending - there was a really deep and angsty ending to this written as well.**

**I will also be publishing on Twilighted if i can ever get them to accept my work!**


	11. Chapter 11

**I know we're not really meant to be putting Authors Notes as chapters but just this once...  
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'_**Tread Lightly'**_**, the sequel to '**_**To Live Is To Love'**_** is up and as of this afternoon, completely free of writers block! Its still hard to know if i am on the right track so let me know your thoughts**

**Thanks**

**Nutty**


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